Steven Covey wrote a best-selling book titled The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.

His fourth habit is: “Win/Win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win/Win means that agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial, mutually satisfying.”

Most people in our culture have a Win/Lose mentality. That is, they seek to win themselves and to defeat everyone else.

God wants us to have a Win/Win mentality.

In these closing exhortations, Paul directs the Thessalonians’ attention to living godly lives in terms of being assets in their local church.

Obey and highly esteem your spiritual leaders (vv 12-13). At the time Paul was writing, these would have been the elders in the churches. Today they would be pastors and other church leaders such as elders or deacons.

Obeying and highly esteeming our leaders results in peace in our churches.

The average American pastor remains in one church for three to five years. Typically, pastors who remain in the ministry for twenty or more years have served in three to six different churches. That is a lot of moving. Often, the reason pastors move is because their congregations have not obeyed and highly esteemed them.

Help weaker brothers (vv 14-15). Here, Paul is writing to all believers, not just the leaders. We are all to “warn the unruly” (v 14a). In this context, the unruly specifically refers to people who had given up working for a living and were, instead, relying on handouts from others (2 Thess 3:6, 7, 11).

We are also to “comfort the fainthearted” (v 14b). Those who are disheartened need encouragement, not rebuke. Treat these people gently.

We are to “uphold the weak” (v 14c). Paul is probably referring here to believers who are not yet spiritually mature.

While we all need others to watch our backs, that is especially true of weak Christians.

The final admonition in this section is to “be patient with all” (v 14d). We are to help and get along with everyone. We need to be patient with all, and all need to be patient with us.

Don’t return evil for evil (v 15a). Paul is saying that if someone in your church hurts your feelings, don’t retaliate. This is especially important for the people closest to us—spouses, children, parents, brothers and sisters, people in our Sunday School class, people at work, etc.

One commentator, Hiebert, makes this excellent remark: “The prohibition against retaliation is distinctly Christian…Compliance with this demand constitutes one of the sternest tests of Christian character” (pp. 237-38).

If you return evil for evil, you are no longer in a Win/Win mentality.

The second half of verse 15 gives the positive application of this.

Pursue what is good for you and for all (v 15b). The Greek word order is very emphatic here. It reads, in order, “But always the good pursue both for one another and for all.”

The words the good pursue are emphatic. Aim for Win/Win—for one another in the church, and for all, including unbelievers.

We should make doing good to others our constant pursuit in life.

Maintain reverence toward God and life (vv 16-18). This is a beautiful and much-loved section of Scripture.

Rejoice always (v 16). That is a key attitude and action. Thanksgiving all year long.

Pray without ceasing (v 17). We need not stop the car or stop and bow our heads. We should be praying throughout the day. God is our constant companion.

In everything give thanks (v 18). We are not to give thanks for everything. Read the lament psalms. We are to give thanks in every situation in which we find ourselves, but not for every situation.

It is God’s will, or desire, for us that we be a thankful people.

Don’t forbid prophecy, but test it (vv 19-22). The command, Do not quench the Spirit is not synonymous with do not grieve the Holy Spirit. The word translated “quench” here is the word used for putting out something like a fire. It refers to quenching the Spirit in another believer.

This would be forbidding others to prophesy or, by extension, to use their spiritual gifts. We should not forbid others to teach, lead, encourage, help, and so forth.

Prophecy was a gift in the first century. It is not a gift today.

Not all prophecies were true. Valid prophecies were to be welcomed. False prophecies were to be rejected.

The application today concerns teaching. If a visiting teacher wants to speak at our church, we should make sure that he is sound in doctrine before we grant him access to the church body.

We should only allow vetted people to teach in our church, whether Sunday school, a home Bible study, or speaking from the pulpit.

We are not to quench the ministry of other believers in our assemblies. We are to help other believers serve Christ as effectively as possible.

The local church is to be a safe place for believers to grow and mature until Christ returns. It is where we receive instruction, encouragement, and help in our Christian lives.

We both receive help from others and provide help to others. That is how a healthy church operates.

To get the most out of our church, we must give of ourselves. We need to have a Win/Win mindset.