It was a photo that exuded love and devotion. It is easy to see why it won the Pulitzer Prize in 1973. Bob Stirm, an Air Force pilot, had returned to the US after five-and-a-half years as a POW in North Vietnam. Those years had been filled with torture and deprivation. The thought of being reunited with his family kept him going during those difficult times.

The photo captures the moment when the family is reunited on the tarmac of a military airport. Bob is reaching out to hug his eldest daughter, who is running toward him with her arms wide open. His other three children are also sprinting toward him, along with his wife Loretta. All have smiles and expressions of joy on their faces. It is impossible to look at the photo and not feel emotional.

There is only one problem. For Loretta, at least, it was an act.

Around a year after Bob’s capture, she had become romantically involved with other men. A few days before their meeting on the tarmac, Bob had been told she wanted a divorce.

I don’t know why she wanted a divorce. Maybe Bob had been unfaithful to her before his capture. Maybe he was a lousy husband. Maybe she thought he would never return from North Vietnam–or even die there–and she needed to get on with her life. Maybe she didn’t want to wait, not knowing how long they would be separated. I could understand any of those reasons.

I also don’t know why she ran to meet him on the tarmac with a smile on her face. Maybe the Pentagon told her to do it to make the country feel good after the long war in Vietnam. Maybe she wanted to do what she personally saw as her patriotic duty. Maybe she didn’t want to embarrass Bob on a national stage. Maybe she felt she owed it to Bob and was at least glad that he was home, even if she wanted to be with another man. Maybe she was simply egotistical and wanted her picture in the New York Times.

Whatever her reasons for both wanting a divorce and being present on that day, I wish she had not run on the tarmac to meet Bob. I feel like she played me–and all of America–for fools. She pulled on our heartstrings. She gave us the impression that she was a loving wife and that she and Bob would live together happily ever after. It was a lie. It was a show. It was a photo-op.

I must admit, even though it doesn’t sound very spiritual, that I get angry when I see the picture. I feel that way even though I never met Bob or Loretta Stirm. I see Loretta as a hypocrite who treated millions of people, including myself, like we were idiots.

John tells us that believers can do the same thing. In fact, we often do. We can put on a show, acting like we love somebody when we don’t. He writes, “My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth” (1 John 3:18). John wants his Christian readers to love each other, and not just put on a show.

When it comes to loving other believers, it’s easy to act like Loretta in the photo. We can talk about how much we love them. We can sing songs about that love. We can meet with them in church on Sunday. Before the world, we can act like we’re one big happy family.

We can do all that, but not love them. We can be jealous of them or not want what is best for them. We can be unconcerned about whether they are being exposed to false doctrine or how they are doing spiritually. We can even come up with reasons why we feel that way.

But when we love our fellow believers, we want to serve them. We want them to become more like Christ. If they have physical needs, we meet them. All these things are hard to do. We must ask the Lord to make us like that. We must ask the Spirit to give us the strength to love in “deed,” and not just put on an act.

If you are like me and get at least a little angry when you see the Pulitzer-winning photo of 1973, let it be a warning to all of us. We can be like the wife in that photo. We can act like we love those around us. We can fool others into thinking that is the case. Loretta fooled millions. But we cannot fool the Lord.