By Ken Yates

INTRODUCTION

Most of us have heard about the Proverbs Woman. Some refer to her as the “Proverbs 31 Woman.” She is an impressive lady.

Her description is found in Prov 31:10-31. These verses are part of the Scriptures and are therefore inspired by God. We can all learn from them. Unfortunately, they have been misused. People quote from these verses and call upon women to be a Proverbs 31 Woman. I am sure many Christian women have taken that challenge to heart.

In many cases, this has led to depression and defeat. Women who try to be that woman find they cannot meet the standard. There is a reason for that. The Proverbs 31 Woman doesn’t exist. She is an idealized example.

THE DESCRIPTION

This perfect woman is a blessing to all who know her. She works in the home, making sure that the needs of her husband and children are met (vv 13, 15, 19, 21, 27). She has a cottage industry that brings extra money into the household (v 24). Because of her business acumen she successfully seeks out foreign goods in which to invest and buys profitable real estate (vv 14, 16). Her stock market decisions always work out.

Her labor benefits not only her family; she sees the needs of her servants and the poor in the community and uses her wealth to meet those needs (vv 15, 20).

She is a wealthy, aristocratic woman with slaves, to whom she is very gracious (v 15). Fortunately for all associated with her, she doesn’t need to sleep. If something needs to be done during the night, she rises to do it (v 18).

She makes fine clothing. Because of her hard work, her family is known as the town’s bestdressed citizens (v 21, 23). Because of her sewing skills, she dresses attractively as well (v 22). She is undoubtedly a beautiful woman. But she keeps it all in perspective. She realizes that her physical beauty and the fine outward clothing that she works diligently to produce are not important. They will pass away. This woman knows that true beauty is found in pleasing the Lord (v. 30). This rich, merciful, attractive woman is humble.

This woman has obviously had the advantage of having been raised in a godly home. She has been taught to be virtuous (v 10). This instruction has imparted to her the wisdom found in God’s Word. It has taught her the Law, which has made her the woman of kindness that she is (v 26).

This woman is a wife, a mother, a business owner, wealthy, a slave owner, a real estate owner, kind, merciful, attractive, fashionably dressed, and humble. Because of her upbringing, she is a Bible scholar who accurately expounds the Scriptures. She practices what she preaches.

GOOD LUCK

When I read this description, I want to wish two kinds of people good luck. The first would be a woman who sets out to be the Proverbs 31 Woman. Have any of us ever known a person who meets these requirements? Since she would have to be born into a wealthy home with godly parents, almost every woman is disqualified immediately upon birth. She would have to grow up, get married, have children, and meet the other rigorous requirements. That woman does not exist. To try to be her can only lead to disappointment. We all know wise and godly mothers and wives. I hope none of them beat themselves up trying to meet an impossible standard.

The second group of people who need good luck are certain young men. They are told to look for a Proverbs 31 Woman when they want to marry. They will spend a lot of time looking for this imaginary person. Furthermore, I’ve met a lot of men, and if such a woman did exist, she wouldn’t marry any man I’ve known. Because the Proverbs 31 Woman is consummately wise, no man I know of would meet her standards. Such a woman would be better off single.

Men, just be glad that Proverbs includes no additional chapter describing the Proverbs 32 Man. He would be physically fit, attractive, wealthy, a philanthropist, a merciful and godly Bible teacher, and one who never wastes time on such mundane things as fishing and sports. He would top it off with a hefty dose of humility because he knows all his outward success has no eternal value. For married men, imagine that your wife had been looking for someone like that before she married you. You’d still be single.

WHAT IS THE POINT?

If the Proverbs 31 Woman does not exist, why are these verses in the Bible? We are to see this woman as a symbol. At the beginning of Proverbs, wisdom is personified as a woman who calls out for people to follow her (1:20-33; 8:1-21). Wisdom is not a literal woman.

The book of Proverbs describes the blessings that Biblical wisdom brings into a person’s life. The woman of Proverbs 31 is an idealized picture of those blessings.

The wisdom found in God’s Word will produce virtuous people. Such people are not sluggards, but work hard. They look to the future. They are merciful to those in need. They can teach the truths found in God’s Word because they have been taught it and studied it for themselves. They have put such wisdom into practice in their lives.

The wisdom found in God’s Word results in many blessings in this life. But it also teaches that this world is passing away. True wisdom is found in fearing the Lord (v 30), a truth also found at the beginning of Proverbs (Prov 1:7).

Eternal life can never be lost. But the Proverbs 31 Woman understands that the blessings of walking the path of wisdom—obeying the teachings of the Lord—will result in eternal rewards (2 Cor 5:9-10). That is a mindset that any believer can have.

CONCLUSION

No woman has ever been a perfect Proverbs 31 Woman, and no one is called to be such a woman. Instead, Prov 31:10-31 gives an idealized picture of what godly wisdom produces. Believers can experience those blessings—blessings spelled out in the book of Proverbs—if they act upon the wisdom found in God’s Word. Such a life will also be rewarded in the world to come and thus has eternal value.

I mentioned that I’m glad there is no chapter in the Bible describing the Proverbs Man. I would quickly realize that I do not meet the standard. But there is, in fact, such a chapter––Proverbs 31! Wisdom, personified as a woman, cries out for all believers to follow her. Men, we won’t meet those requirements either, but we can see what God’s Word can produce in our lives. The Proverbs 31 Woman is an example for all of us.

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Ken Yates is a retired Army chaplain (Lt. Col). He has many theological degrees, including a Ph.D. from D.T.S. in New Testament. He leads the GES international ministry, cohosts the daily podcast, and assists Bob in all aspects of the GES ministry. His new book, Mark: Lessons in Discipleship, is a wonderful explanation of Christ’s call to discipleship. He and his wife, Pam, live in Columbia, SC.