In 1944, the movie Gaslight, starring Ingrid Bergman, was released. The movie centered around a woman who marries a seemingly kind and loving man. However, as the movie progresses, it becomes increasingly evident that the husband is not what he appears. He secretly moves objects in the house from one place to another, as well as turning the gas lights on and off. When his wife mentions these oddities, he convinces her that she is imagining things. Slowly, the poor woman starts to question herself and her own sanity. Ultimately, he convinces her that she has gone mad.
A psychological term, gaslighting, is based on this movie. It refers to an abuser’s making his or her victim feel unstable or irrational by claiming that their legitimate concerns are minor, or simply untrue. In other words, to be “gaslit” is to be psychologically manipulated into thinking you are the problem, and that objective truth is wrong. The same principle can be found in the spiritual world. A life characterized by following the Lord and doing good is often redefined and called evil (Isa 5:20). If believers are not careful, they can be gaslit into thinking that they are wrong for doing good.
For example, in the United States today, you are often labeled as unloving or divisive–even among some Christians–if you do not support the LGBTQ community. We are told that Christ loves everyone and that without love, we are just clanging cymbals (1 Cor 13:1). Therefore, it has been argued, the Church should accept and support the gay community. If you do not, then people will question your spiritual sanity. It will be said that the Church has just gotten confused, that the original language does not say homosexuality is wrong, and that we need to reevaluate this issue within a 21st-century context. Just as in the movie, objective truths get moved around, and the light of the Word of God is dimmed.
Spiritual gaslighting can also occur when people strive for sound doctrine (2 Tim 2:14-15). Many say that we should not divide over doctrine. The chorus of “unity at all costs” rings throughout the church today. Inclusivity is praised, while division over sound teaching is labeled as contentious and irrational. Believers who call out false teachers are defined as too nitpicky, or even mentally unstable.
Sadly, such twisting of the Scriptures can cause faithful believers to begin to doubt themselves. Because of this, like Ingrid Bergman’s character, countless well-meaning Christians have been gaslit into believing that they are the problem when they mention doctrinal concerns. The result is that many believers begin to question their spiritual sanity.
How can we avoid this profoundly serious issue? In 1 Pet 3:14-17, the Apostle Peter provides some guidance:
But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you are blessed. “And do not be afraid of their threats, nor be troubled.” But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear; having a good conscience, that when they defame you as evildoers, those who revile your good conduct in Christ may be ashamed. For it is better, if it is the will of God, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.
In his letter to persecuted believers, the Apostle Peter has been discussing the role of trials in the Christian life (1:6-7). In this particular passage, the apostle is talking about the specific suffering (vv 14, 17) of being defamed and spoken against, which is a form of suffering. The first lesson we can take from this passage is that believers can expect to be ridiculed for obeying the Lord. Knowing that faithfulness will often be slandered can certainly help us to distinguish between the truth and gaslighting. In Matt 5:11-12 we read what the Lord said about this principle in the Sermon on the Mount:
Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
Notice that both the Lord and the apostle say that when your good conduct is reviled and all manner of evil is spoken against you, the faithful believer is blessed (also see 1 Pet 3:9). In both contexts, the doctrine of rewards is being taught. Those believers who face such scorn and slander are promised that they will be rewarded in the coming kingdom. This is the second lesson we can take from this passage. Suffering believers can be confident that the lies spoken against them will be revealed one day, and that they will be vindicated and rewarded when Christ returns.
Finally, in verse 16 Peter talks about having a good conscience. When believers are suffering such ridicule and slander, it is easy to second guess oneself and believe the lies. However, a good conscience can be obtained by sanctifying our hearts in the Lord (v 15), rather than being concerned with what men say. We can know with certainty that obeying the Lord and conducting ourselves according to His word is always the right thing to do, even when the world tries to convince us otherwise.
In short, the best way to avoid spiritual gaslighting is to know and abide in the true light of the Word of God.
