Transcript

ANNOUNCER: Talking today about divorce, remarriage, and a reference by some teachers that remarriage means a continuous state of adultery. Is this so? Well, let’s have a discussion about this and we’re glad that you’re with us today here on Grace in Focus. Grace in Focus is a radio broadcast in podcast ministry of the Grace Evangelical Society. Find us at faithalone.org. We also have a YouTube channel, YouTube, Grace Evangelical Society. We release short videos each week and we’d love for you to view them. Get subscribed at YouTube, Grace Evangelical Society. That’s our channel. Also, once again, our website, faithalone.org. 

Now with today’s discussion, here is Bob Wilkin, along with Ken Yates. 

KEN: We’ve got a question sent in by L.L. 

BOB: L.L. Okay. 

KEN: And she has an issue with being remarried. She said that she was married for 23 years and her husband left her. He admitted to being unfaithful and then she got involved with another man and married him. And they were, because they were living together, she thought the best thing to do was to get married. So her first husband left her, she started living with another guy and then because of that, she was convicted and she says it’s better if we’re living together to get married and she did. And then she said, however, he’s not a believer. 

But her real question was, she’s heard some Christian teachers teach that if you remarry, you are in a continuous state of adultery. And so she’s worried number one that she’s in a continuous state of adultery. And then the other thing she’s worried about is, does that mean she would go to hell? Let’s answer that second one. 

BOB: Does she actually say that? 

KEN: Well, what she hears teachers say is that if you’ve remarried and you remain in that second marriage, that you’re going to go to hell unless you break off that second marriage, which is course ridiculous. Yeah. So let’s do the first one. 

BOB: Okay, so we’ve got a lot going on there. But yeah, start with the second part.

KEN: Yeah, the second part, obviously, whether you believe it’s adultery or not, or whether it is or not, is irrelevant as far as your eternal destiny. If a person believes in Jesus Christ for eternal life, they have it. And it doesn’t matter what their sexual sins are or aren’t or marriage status or anything else, all that is irrelevant as far as whether you have eternal life or not. 

BOB: Okay, so John 3:16 says whoever believes in Him will not perish, but has everlasting life. God, the Father gave His only begotten Son so that whoever believes in Him will not perish, but has everlasting life. That says nothing about behavior. 

KEN: Right. Matter of fact, we could go to the next chapter, John chapter 4. There’s a woman who’s been married five times. 

BOB: And the one she’s currently living with, she’s not married to. And yet he doesn’t confront her about that other than to show that he’s the Messiah and knows all things about her. 

KEN: And he tells her if you believe in me and the gift that I have to give you, you’ll never, never die. 

BOB: You know, nothing about you got to turn from that or whatever. Now, let me say it’s interesting she says her second husband is not a believer, but based on what you’re reading to me, I think it’s questionable whether she’s a believer. She’s obviously someone who says I believe in Jesus and I would say she’s clearly someone who believes Jesus died in the cross for her sins and rose again, even though she doesn’t say that. But I would think she’s like a lot of evangelicals that think, well, if I believe Jesus died and rose again, then I’m a believer. And maybe she thinks if I’m faithful, I’ll keep my salvation. And so she’s wondering, you know, have I done something to where the only way I can make it to heaven is to divorce again. And like you say, it’s nuts to break off the second marriage because that in itself would be wrong, because now you have a new marriage commitment, right? And you’re committed to the second person until death, do you part? So there’s multiple things going on here. 

But one of the things I would say, L.L. is this, go to the gospel of John, read it prayerfully, say, Lord, show me, is it really as simple as just believing in the Lord Jesus Christ? And if I do that, then I have everlasting life and I’ll never perish, I’ll never hunger, I’ll never thirst, I’ll never die, I’ll never be cast out, all that simple. And if she comes to believe that, then this question is going to go away at least as far as the hell part. 

KEN: Right. And that’s the most important thing. That is the most important part about this question, L.L., you have eternal life by faith alone in Christ, and it doesn’t matter that as—

BOB: And by the way, somebody could be calling about homosexuality, I’m a homosexual, and I’ve left my first partner, and now I’ve come to a second homosexual partner, but somebody’s telling me that homosexuals are going to hell. It wouldn’t matter what the issue was, they need to realize there is no sin that can keep you from everlasting life, right? And that simply by believing in Jesus is the only condition. 

Now, let me talk about the other part. First of all, she says her first husband admitted to adultery. 

KEN: Yes, he was unfaithful after 23 years. 

BOB: Okay. So according to Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19:9, if your spouse commits adultery, that’s grounds for divorce and remarriage. So her remarrying would not be sin. What would be sin is her living with the second man before she got married.

KEN: And that’s in the past, right? 

BOB: And she realized that and so she got married, which is commendable. So what I would say is, look, yeah, there was sin there in sleeping and living with this man before you were married, with the second man, before you were married. But A, that has nothing to do with your eternal destiny. And B, like you say, that’s in the past. And C, she probably wasn’t even a, might not even have been aware that was sin. Maybe she was, you know, there’s a lot of young people today that think living together is just normal, right? And they think sex is like tennis. If you have sexual relations with someone, it’s like, well, I played tennis with a girl today. Well, you know, it’s just physical, right? It’s just purely physical. There’s nothing emotional about it. There’s nothing God says about it. You know, it’s just whatever. Well, maybe she was there. I don’t know. 

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BOB: But now that she has remarried and I would say she was free to remarry based on those verses, she’s now committed to the second man and she needs to stay faithful to them. And according to 1 Corinthians 7, she can have a sanctifying influence on him. 

So what I would say is there’s nothing that’s going to separate you from the free gift of eternal life if you already have it. If you don’t already have it, L.L., get it. Come to faith in Jesus, get the fact that it’s simply by faith. And then as far as your second husband, as you have opportunity, evangelize him, have him read the gospel of John, have him pray about it. He probably thinks like a lot of people do that you’ve got to turn from your sins and commit your life and promise to serve God and he’s thinking, no, no, I don’t want to do all that. What I would say is he needs to know that this is a gift. 

KEN: The question here, are you in a continuous state of adultery? No. 

BOB: Hit that part because that is who we as well, right? 

KEN: She mentions this guy. I don’t know who he is. Maybe you do David Pawson. 

BOB: I’ve heard the name. 

KEN: She said, that’s who she’s been hearing say that if you’ve remarried, you’re in a continuous state of adultery, which is not true. 

BOB: No, what those verses, Matthew 5:32 and 19:9 are saying is if you divorce your spouse and marry another except for porneia, which is broader by the way than adultery. It would include incest or it would include homosexuality or bestiality. Anything in the pornea category. There’s a separate word, moichao, for adultery. And that’s not what the Lord uses there. 

But in any regard, he says, if you do divorce your spouse and marry another except for porneia, you commit adultery. He doesn’t mean you commit ongoing adultery. He means at that moment, you have committed a sin by remarried when you didn’t have the grounds for remarried. But once you’ve done that, you’re now under a new marriage commitment or a new marriage covenant. 

KEN: And also, and you mentioned 1 Corinthians 7, Paul says, whatever state you find yourself in now, be content with it. And so if I’ve remarried, whether it was legitimate grounds or not, if I divorce my wife because she burnt the chicken, you know, and I remarried, I commit adultery. But if I find myself in that situation, I need to remain in that situation.  And so this David Pawson guy, I guess he’s saying that if you’ve remarried, he wants you to break it up and go back. 

And by the way, I’ve heard believers say that. You know, I’ve heard believers say that if you’ve remarried, you need to go back. But of course, that’s ridiculous because a lot of the times your first spouse has remarried. So, you know,—

BOB: According to law of Moses, if you divorce, you’re not allowed to go back to your first. Now, we’re not under the law of Moses, but I’m saying at least under the law of Moses, once you divorce, you couldn’t go back. 

KEN: And can I just say something, I’m far from an expert in this, Bob, you might correct me on this. From my reading, in the first century, divorce and remarriage was extremely common. And there was all kinds of, I mean, just think of the nightmare that would be if what Jesus was saying is, listen, if you’re on your second marriage, you need to go back to your first one. You know, when most of these, I mean, think of the woman at the well. I mean, what would she do? She’s had five and then living with a guy. And that would have been, would that have been a common law marriage, you know, what if you live in a state where if you live with somebody, you’re married, we can become very legalistic here. And whoever this Pawson guy is, it looks like he’s probably in that camp. Like, well, how would you straighten this out? And what would you do? And what would you do about the kids involved? You know, if there’s kids in the second marriage. 

BOB: Right, you’re breaking up another family. 

KEN: Right. And so when Paul says, whatever situation you find yourself in now, obey the Lord and it, and L.L., that’s what the Lord would tell you. 

BOB: And I would say that applies as long as the situation you’re in is a non-sinful situation. Obviously, if two lesbians are living with each other and they come to faith, as they grow in the faith, they’re going to realize this isn’t God’s will for us. This is sin and they would break that off. But as long as the situation you’re in, like for example, a second marriage is something that God tells you not to drop, then for you to do that, that in itself would be sin. 

KEN: Right. And again, most of these first marriages, the other person has moved on and married someone else. 

BOB: Well, in fact, if I understand her correctly, he divorced her or she didn’t divorce him. 

KEN: She doesn’t say. She just said he was unfaithful. We hope this helps L.L. But again, as Bob was saying, most important thing, gospel of John, you have eternal life by faith alone in Christ. 

BOB: Apart from any works. 

KEN: And you can never lose it. Well, thanks for the question, L.L. Remember, keep grace in focus. 

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Now, friend, we are delighted that you’ve joined us all this week on Grace in Focus. Plan to be back next week again for more. And in the meantime, hope you have a great weekend. Let’s keep grace in focus.