By Amy Paige

If you haven’t found yourself in this uncomfortable spot, you will at some point. I’ve noticed two ways believers deal with confrontation.

An immature believer would respond in the flesh. Lashing out in words of anger face-to-face, but most likely by gossiping or posting on Facebook, i.e., hiding behind the keyboard.

A more mature believer might still attempt to handle a confrontation and think she is doing the right thing by avoiding the person altogether—by ignoring the person or by switching churches.

There’s got to be a better way!

God’s Word Is Clear

…if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother (Matt 18:15).

First of all, picture the resolution. If your desire/goal is to be back in fellowship, regain trust, or healing, you need to stop before you respond hastily and do more harm. What does God’s character show us?

But You, O Lord, are a God full of compassion, and gracious, Longsuffering and abundant in mercy and truth (Ps 86:15).

Ask God for wisdom and a heart of humility. Ask Him to show you any wrong on your part that you need to confess to Him, and ask for forgiveness. (Your wrong may be that you’ve complained or shared it with someone else.) Be sure to say the words “I was wrong.” Humility normally breaks down walls and opens the doorway to resolution. There’s no room for pride here.

Finally, brethren, farewell. Become complete. Be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you (2 Cor 13:11).

Go to your sister in private. Go in humility. Pray for guidance. Confess and/or apologize first for anything you need to.

Share and listen. Pray for resolution together and be willing to let God work. The “work” on your part may be uncomfortable—this whole situation will be out of your comfort zone, but you will survive.

In the end, you can’t control the other person. It is in God’s hands from there.

But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:7-9).

Humility + love + obedience = mending, healing, and sweet fellowship.

Gratefully, we have a Heavenly Father who always forgives, and He is our perfect example. In fact, it’s because of His forgiveness that we have the promise of everlasting life! Let’s forgive like He does or seek forgiveness when we are at fault.

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Amy Paige is a graphic designer with 289Design.