This past Sunday, I announced I was stepping down from pastoring the contemporary service at Gateway United Baptist Church.
I started serving as an experiment. It was an experiment for the church to see if there was a demand for a contemporary service. The average age of the church was about seventy. They needed to reach younger people. And it was an experiment for me. Did I have the time to pastor bi-vocationally on top of working for GES and raising a family, etc.?
After a year and a half of working seven days a week, I came to an answer: “Nope.”
I felt tired.
It wasn’t due to the congregation. They were easy and supportive. In my preaching, I emphasized that everyone has a ministry from God, and everyone has a role to play in the Body, so they were all expected to contribute to the Church. And you know what? They stepped up. While most churches work with 20% of the people doing 80% of the work, in our case, I think 90% of the people were serving. And the other 10% just didn’t get a chance yet. That made things much easier for me. Moreover, while I hear from other pastors about congregations that backstab them and plot to get rid of them, I didn’t experience any of that. The little congregation was good to me.
But…I was still tired.
Part of it was that in the last year or so, Bob and I had changed our day-to-day work. On top of what we were doing before, we now do a daily blog and a daily podcast. Frankly, that takes a lot of mental energy.
I also had to consider how one area of ministry was growing a lot, while the other was not. For example, monthly traffic to the GES website has jumped from 21k unique users a year ago, to 58k unique users now. And that number is going up every month. Add in magazine readers, book readers, and radio listeners, and we might be reaching 90k people a month. Financially, we’ve been making budget. More people are signing up to be monthly donors (see here). It’s all very encouraging and energizing.
In the meantime, at church, our little service grew a little, but not much. We were averaging maybe 20-30 people. If everyone showed up, we’d get to 50. I know that individually, those twenty or so people were growing spiritually. But it was a little discouraging to see empty pews. And finances were tight. But most of all, I became frustrated with myself. I knew that, while more needed to be done (in terms of visitation and outreach), I simply didn’t have the time to do it.
Leading up to my resignation, I talked to several friends about it. “Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors, there is safety” (Prov 11:13 KJV). I’ve learned that, in making these big decisions, aside from prayer, I should seek out and listen to good counsel. My brother and sister were helpful. But the turning point for me came when I was having dinner with Pastor John Lee. I shared a little of what I was thinking, namely, that between work, family, doctoral studies, and bi-vocational pastoring, I was doing too much. Then he said something that stuck with me: “Your kids are at an age when they actually want to spend time with you. A few years from now they won’t. This is the time to be around them.”
He was right. Something had to give in favor of having more time with my kids.
Again and again, I am reminded that the hardest decisions in life are not between choosing good or doing evil, but having to choose to do this good over that good.
Edward Baci
I wonder why you didn’t just incorporate the younger folks in with the older.to begin with.
Shawn Lazar
They tried for a long time, without success. What was successful were their ministries to older folk. They became a sort of “senior adult” church. But that eventually led to the creation of a huge age gap, where most people were 65 and up. And there was virtually no one under 50 (and only a handful of 50 year olds at that).
Kelley Easley
Shawn, may the Lord continue to guide and bless this next season of your lives, as you focus more fully on family and other important projects (like your systematic theology book!) 🙂
Shawn Lazar
Thank you!
Marcia Hornok
A wise decision. I wondered how you were getting everything done! And praise to God for c. 90k people GES reaches every month. That is so encouraging.
KEN TAMASHIRO
Hi Pastor Shawn,
Your Pastor friend was right concerning your kids.
Regarding your workload, I heard about this secret that was given from a Motivational Speaker, He basically said write down 7 of the most important things you have to do on that list and rewrite them in the order of priority. And leave the 7th one for your Family. He said this will keep you on task for the important things and the rest of the non-important things you can fill in for the day or later for someother day.
I’m very happy to hear that GES is doing well.
Grace and Peace to You,
Ken Tamashiro
Diane
Shawn, I think it’s great that you had a heart to try pastoring this group of younger believers. I also understand why you chose to step down. I know you made a wise decision, and I thank God for you. So thankful for your ministry at GES. Words can’t begin to express how thankful I am for GES and for all the friends I’ve made there through the years. Keeping you all in my prayers~!!!
Carl
When I worked in the corporate world as part of the senior management team there were a lot of work hours required during the week as well as a lot of travel time. I recall talking to an associate about not being able to spend time with my children and taking part in their various activities. The response I received was, “It’s all about quality time, not quantity of time.” I accepted that for a while but then began to realize that the time I lose with my family is time I would never get back. I had to make the choice and I chose family.
Lucia
Error: Proverbs 11:14 not 13. Interesting mistake b/c 13 speaks of talebearers (gossip). Beware of council from man, heed advice from prayer to the Father and His will and plan for you. Checklist is good, where can you cut and where are you most needed?
I find blogs, having to maintain various human viewpoint, can be caustic. The church is little but obviously hungry for His infallible Word. They’ve become your flock of sheep, needing guidance they can only get from church. Some may not be tech savvy and unable to hear God’s Word without a physical church, it’s their only security in life (unlike bloggers have the entire spectrum of the website) . Feed and guide your flock that they don’t fall.
David Yamarick
Thank you for sharing this journey. I can’t tell you how blessed I am for finding GES as I searched for answers regarding Calvinism. So I am growing into a big fan, and now I need a GES T-shirt! Praying you’ll find encouragement and comfort in your decision. It seems in serving, the Lord brings opportunity, tension and then deployment at times. May he comfort you abundantly.
Tim Amoroso
I believe God will honor you.
Ruth
I am so thrilled that I just found GES through a friend and her pastor father. I have been formulating these exact things over the past ten years or so. The beginning for me was searching for eternal security and making justification by faith alone, as clearly taught in Romans, jive with James who says we are not saved by faith alone, but are justified by faith plus works. I found that I could “rightly divide the word of truth” by seeing which verses refer to the two different judgments – the judgment of the saved, by their works for a reward in heaven, and the judgment of the unsaved, the Judgment Seat of Christ vs the Great White Throne judgement. These fit perfectly with salvation and Discipleship. Thanks for all you do to further this amazing teaching which has finally given me assurance of salvation, which I served for for decades