Being able to pray to the Living God is a fantastic privilege. But having a healthy prayer life can be hard to develop, maintain, and keep fresh over time.
Prayer takes discipline.
It also takes wisdom.
And if you want wisdom for living the Christian life, read the Book of James. It is like the New Testament’s Book of Proverbs (see here). And James offers four common–sense reasons you might have a weak prayer life.
1.You don’t pray.
You do not have because you do not ask (James 4:2b).
Do you see what I mean by “common sense?” Your prayer life might be weak because you don’t pray. That makes sense! If you aren’t praying, then you don’t have a prayer life! So get started!
The worry about the future that keeps nagging at you? Bring that to the Lord. Frustration at a recurring situation? Talk to your Heavenly Father about it.
Starting to pray is like starting anything else—you need the discipline to set aside the time to do it. Think of all the other things you set aside time to do: studying, working out at the gym, calling your grandparents, or meeting your friend for coffee. Likewise, if you haven’t already, make a point of setting aside time to pray to God.
2. You doubt God will answer your prayer.
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord (James 1:5-7).
Your prayer life may be weak because you don’t believe that God will answer you. In other words, you’re praying in bad faith—asking in doubt and challenging God to prove you wrong. James says don’t expect to receive an answer if you pray in doubt and unbelief. Remember who God is—not only His power, but His good character. Remember that He loves you, and pray to Him in faith.
3. Your motivations are wrong.
You ask and do not receive, because you ask with the wrong motives, so that you may spend what you request on your pleasures (James 4:3 NASB).
“Be careful what you wish for” is a well-worn movie trope to describe when a character makes a selfish wish that is granted but then backfires. These movies often involve a magical object or a genie. Well, God is no genie, and He does not exist to grant you wishes, especially if they stem from a carnal heart. So if you’re praying with the wrong motives, God will not answer that prayer. Think about why you’re praying.
4. You pray for the wrong things.
You ask and do not receive, because you ask with the wrong motives, so that you may spend what you request on your pleasures (James 4:3 NASB).
What kinds of things are you praying for? Of course, God expects you to pray for things like your fundamental human needs (e.g., your “daily bread”). Praying for things is not wrong. But you can make the mistake of praying for the wrong things, such as your sensualistic physical appetites (“pleasures”). In that case, don’t bother asking God to fulfill those desires because He is not in the business of encouraging you to sin. Instead, bring your desires in line with God’s will and pray for the right things.
Have you made these mistakes in prayer? So has everyone else! I have. The point is not to feel guilty and get so discouraged that you stop praying. We all have to learn how to pray well, and recognizing your mistakes is part of the process of growing.
At the very least, be encouraged by this thought: if you’re struggling with knowing how to pray well, that’s a great subject to start praying about!
