Over the Christmas break, I finished Jack Deere’s autobiography, Even in Our Darkness. And as the title suggests, it was very dark. The book reads like a confession of all the many ways Deere felt he failed as a father, husband, and friend, not to mention as a minister. In a world where many Charismatics identify with the prosperity gospel, Deere’s life of outward prosperity barely covered the pain and turmoil that existed beneath the surface.

Two of the pivotal moments of Deere’s life were his father’s suicide and then his son Scott’s suicide. Those events combined with many other troubles—often self-inflicted—left him struggling with lots of theological questions and unanswered prayers. But through it all, there was at least one truth of which he was certain.

People often ask us the question, “Can someone who committed suicide go to heaven when they die?” Here is Deere’s answer:

While we were still at John and Nancy’s, I received an email from a reader. In one of my books, I wrote about my conviction that I would be reunited with Dad in heaven. I don’t think the man knew about Scott’s death. He just wanted to correct me.

“Suicides don’t go to heaven,” he wrote. “They can’t confess their last sin.”

When the devil wants to send a message, he can always find a religious person to deliver it with perfect timing.

But it didn’t work. I had become a Christian thirty-five years earlier, and at my moment of belief, the idea of Saint Peter’s scales was forever banished—at least as far as salvation was concerned. Perhaps the only thing of which I was still certain was that no one gains eternal life through good works. It is through faith in Jesus alone. And once he is in our heart, he never leaves.

We can’t possibly be aware of all our sins, let alone confess them all (Deere, Even in Our Darkness, p. 228).