ANNOUNCER: Malachi 2:16 says God hates divorce, Matthew 5 and 19 seem to say God permits divorce. Can both be true? Can we harmonize these teachings? Well, let’s talk about it on this episode of Grace in Focus. We are so delighted that you’re joining us, friend, for this ministry of the Grace Evangelical Society. Our website is faithalone.org, and at that website we have literally hundreds of articles which we’ve written or other people have written about all aspects of theology, especially about Free Grace theology. They’re free for you to read and study as you do your research and learning. And we also have a store; you might be interested in some books we have, especially our recently released Old Testament Commentary, Volume 1, now available. Also, Bob Wilkin’s latest book, “The Gospel is Still Under Siege.” Find it all at faithalone.org. 

And now with today’s question and answer discussion, here are Bob Wilkin and David Renfro. 

BOB: Well, David, I thought it might be interesting to talk about the Old Testament, especially in Malachi on divorce, and Matthew, the Lord’s teaching in Matthew on divorce. How do we harmonize the statement in Malachi 2:16, God hates divorce with Jesus’ statement in Matthew chapter 5:31-32, and Matthew 19:8-9, that God permits divorce in the case of immorality? How do we harmonize those two? Maybe you could read, first of all, the Malachi, or the Italian pronunciation is Malachi. 

DAVID: The Italian prophet. 

BOB: The Italian prophet. He wasn’t Italian. What does Malachi mean, by the way? 

DAVID: It means my messenger. Malachi is my angel. Malach means angel or messenger. 

BOB: And then the E is my. Malachi is my messenger, my angel. And it was written somewhere between 400 and 430 somewhere. 

DAVID: It was after the Babylonian exile, which ended. 

BOB: It means it’s post-exilic. There’s pre-exilic, which is before 722, right? 

DAVID: Well, it depends on where you live. If you were in one of the tribes of the ten northern tribes, the exile was 722 BC when the Assyrians conquered that area. 

BOB: But if you’re in the southern kingdom, you’re in 605, 586. 

DAVID: Well, 605 is when the Babylonians came along and started forcing people to go back to Babylon. And then there was a rebellion, of course, in 605, the Babylonians came in and completely destroyed Jerusalem like it says. There was not one stone on top of the other. I mean, it was completely destroyed. Yeah, those are two important dates in the Old Testament. 

BOB: Books before that would be pre-exilic. During the exile would be exilic books. And after the exile would be post-exilic. Malachi was probably the last post-exilic one. And what does he say in 2:16? 

DAVID: Yeah, Malachi 2:16 says, “For the Lord God of Israel says that he hates divorce. For it covers one’s garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. Therefore, take heed to your spirit that you do not deal treacherously.” 

BOB: Now, I remember, it’s been a long time since I’ve preached through Malachi, but the issue in Malachi is you had men who were divorcing the wives of their youth. Doesn’t it say that? 

DAVID: Also, for no reason at all. You know, like, you know, if the wife burns the toast one morning. You’re gone. 

BOB: But the thing is, I think, doesn’t it go on to say specifically that they’re divorcing the wives of their youth? In other words, these were probably men in their mid to late 40s, and they’re divorcing their wives and marrying like 20 year olds. 

DAVID: Well, yeah. And part of it is once again ego or something because maybe they want to have so many number of kids or maybe a person doesn’t, out of all the kids, there’s no son to keep the family going. 

BOB: Also, they just want a new and improved model. I just want the good looking young girl rather than the woman who’s in the middle age. So you’ve got that, God hates divorce. They weren’t supposed to do that. And in Matthew, 5:31-32, maybe you could read that. The Lord says something different. Well, not something different, but something that could be understood as different. 

DAVID: It says here in Matthew 5, “Furthermore, it has been said whoever divorces his wife let him give a certificate of divorce. But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality,” that’s the way the New King James translates. It, “causes her to commit adultery and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.” 

BOB: So, both divorce and remarriage would be excluded except in this case that, the Greek word is porneia. And porneia is broader than adultery. That’s moichao. So, porneia would include, for example, incest. It would include bestiality. It would include, for example, homosexuality. So, if someone was involved in porneia, you’re not required to divorce them. But you are permitted to divorce them. So, the situation would be, in Malachi, this wasn’t because of porneia. Maybe it was because they burnt the toast. Or maybe it was because they weren’t as attractive as they were when they were in their teams in early 20s. And so, as a result, the husband is divorcing them and marrying a younger model. That was forbidden by the Lord Jesus Christ. Now, wasn’t the Lord talking about Deuteronomy 24? Wasn’t that where it talks about this certificate of divorce? 

DAVID: Yeah. It’s Deuteronomy 24:1 and 3 that talks about that kind of thing. 

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BOB: Now, by the way, when I was at Dallas Seminary, a friend of mine, Bill Hath, who also had been on staff with Campus Crusade for Christ, he wrote his master’s thesis on divorce and remarriage. And he argued that what Matthew 5:31-32 and Matthew 19:8-9 with this “except for porneia,” that referred to forbidden degrees of kinship. It was not saying that there is actually an exclusion. 

So what Bill Hath argued was no divorce and no remarriage except in the case of the death of your former spouse. He ended up writing a book on this and then he ended up recanting his view. He ended up going to what’s called the Erasmian view, which is what we’re expressing here, which is you are permitted, but not required, to divorce in the case of porneia, immorality. 

I remember I was in a brown bag discussion, at Dallas Seminary, we would occasionally have meetings during lunch. Bill’s thesis was so interesting that he presented a discussion and he was up there with a faculty member that agreed with him. And during the discussion, I still remember, I can still see the guy in my mind’s eye. He stood up and he said, okay, look, my brother is 25 and his wife had an affair and divorced him. He had no choice in the matter. She divorced him and she’s now married to somebody else. What you’re telling me is my 25-year-old brother cannot have children and he cannot be married unless his wife dies. Is that correct? And they said, yes. They said, well, what do you recommend then? They actually said we recommend you pray that the wife dies. I was really kind of shocked by that. And this guy said, you know, if you were saying that, it really doesn’t provide any way in which a person could be remarried other than violating God’s will. And of course, Bill eventually changed his view and went back to the idea that there is an actual exception. 

And of course, some of the reason why people say there’s no exception is sometimes the Lord didn’t give the “except for porneia.” But on those occasions, as quoted in Mark and Luke, He’s giving the absolute statement, don’t divorce. But there is an exception and the exception is in the case of porneia. Now, some people would say there’s a second exception. In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul said if the unbeliever wishes to depart, let him depart. Some people say what that’s talking about is two unbelievers marry, like in Corinth. And one of those two unbelievers comes to faith. And then the unbeliever is ticked off with the fact that they are now a born-again believer. They no longer want to be married. And Paul says, let them depart. 

And so I would say that at the very least, the believer is free to allow the unbeliever to depart. Whether that means they’re free to remarry is a second question. I would think they were. And of course, the whole issue of what about someone who has a divorce before they’re even born-again is a whole separate question. 

But I don’t think we need to see any sort of conflict between Malachi and Matthew. Because what Malachi is giving is God’s general feeling. He hates divorce. But He does permit it. But He also hates immorality, right? And so if someone’s involved in immorality, He permits divorce and remarriage in that case. At least that’s the way I would understand these passages. You can read more about that and study up on it. But I would suggest that there is a real exception clause in Matthew 5:31-32, Matthew 19:8-9. And it’s in the case of porneia. It’s not for burnt toast. It’s not because you don’t like the looks of your spouse anymore. It’s not because your spouse has gotten fat. That’s ridiculous. Right. It’s til death do us part. It’s we’re committed for a lifetime and through the good and the bad. 

DAVID: It’s a marriage covenant. 

BOB: It’s sacred, right? Now, having said that, some of our listeners may have divorced for wrong reasons and remarried. If so, you’re supposed to stay in that new marriage because you now made a covenant with that new person. So you leave that behind you, acknowledge it. You confess it. You need to say, this is it. I’m committed here. And regardless of the fact that everything isn’t perfect in any marriage, you’re committed for life. 

DAVID: Let me say one more thing about that. When Paul says husbands love your wives. That word is agape. Yes. And the primary aspect of agape love is commitment and sacrifice. It’s not emotional. It’s complete dedication. 

BOB: So husbands love your wives, wives submit to your husband. 

DAVID: That’s the way they love their husbands. 

BOB: Yes. All right. Well, thanks so much. We could go on on this forever. But we’ve got other things on our website at faithalone.org if you want to read about this more. And remember, keep grace in focus.

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